To say my life is crazy is an understatement.
My trio is currently sick and under my husband’s care while I am in Washington D.C. for two days.
I’m sure I’ll hear how bad of a mother I am for leaving my sick babies at home while I’m traveling, but before you say anything, you have to put yourself in my shoes for 24 hours. My heart is breaking because I’m not home cuddling with them, as I know it’s what they need. I know they aren’t sleeping well because I’m not there to hold them until they fall asleep (we only do this when they’re sick, typically they’re very good about going to bed). They haven’t spent a day without me since they were born; it’s hard on all of us and I absolutely miss them.
However, in order to be a strong mom, sometimes you have to take a break. I know they’re being taken care of; is it the same way I would do it, probably not, but they’re fed, clothed and loved and at the end of the day this is what matters. I have been pushed to my breaking point; we all have one. Three sick babies are NO JOKE and isn’t for the weak at heart, but if I’m not doing well or feeling well, the babies certainly won’t be. Selfcare is incredibly important as a mom, because to expect the best from them, you have to be at your best. I haven’t been living by this moto; my mind has been focused on them and my care has been in the back of my mind.
I have been blessed with the opportunity to represent Coldon, Ella and Greyson, Coldon’s Krewe, at the National Buddy Walk in Washington D.C.; this is my opportunity to take care of myself. I don’t need to go the spa or have a girl’s weekend, I just needed to get away from my chaotic, crazy life and do something I’m passionate about.
When you become a mom, especially to triplets, you lose your former identity. This has been incredibly hard for me and I’ve struggled with grieving the loss of who I was. I wasn’t born to be the woman who couldn’t wait to be a mom, but it was in God’s plan for me to not only become a mom, but become a mom to triplets, one of whom has Down syndrome. Through time and counseling, I have discovered the blessing and purpose for my identity change; without this perfect situation, I wouldn’t be in Washington D.C. right now, learning how to become the best advocate for my children, especially Coldon. We have a unique purpose; one people want to know about.
This is my selfcare; finding and embracing my new identity. I’m incredibly passionate about Down syndrome, the individuals who have Down syndrome and the amazing community created around it. I’m able to be a voice for Coldon, until he is old enough to have his own. I’m able to be a voice for the families who aren’t ready to or can’t use their voices. I am Shawn Pittman, lover of God, wife, mother of triplets, Coldon, Ella and Greyson and I am an advocate for Down syndrome!
I’ve had to leave my babies home without me for two days; it’s not easy, but I hope to return home recharged. Mostly likely I will still be tired physically; I’m sure I will be until they’re grown, but mentally I will be able to recharge and return home refreshed and ready to conquer the daily challenges in my path. Mama’s take time for yourselves; you need to reconnect with you and find your identity. It didn’t disappear, it just changed a little and you need to search to reconnect with it. If you’re like me, your new identity is more beautiful and amazing than your former identity ever could have been and once you learn to embrace it, you will be able to do amazing things!